(no subject)

[sarchan]

I'm crying right now. I've been crying for 2 hours straight. I don't know what to do. I can barely type, my fingers are shaking. All the lights are out, I like it dark, when I'm depressed. I can barely see, my eyes are too blurred. I'm all alone in the house. What's the point of living if you can't be happy? All I want to do is curl up in my bed and hide from the world. in the dark. all by myself. It would be better that way. I'm supposed to have Candace over. I can't. Not in the state I'm in. I feel sick. I feel cold. I don't know what to do. There is one person I can talk to...but that person just isn't here for me right now, nor will they ever be. I really don't want to live right now. I'm not going to kill myself. I just want to live an isolated life. People won't leave me alone. That's all I want. Even if it makes me more depressed. I don't think I can write..at all right now. I'm too much in agony. I'm going in my room where it's dark and be by myself. I like it best that way.