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Nothing I can do...
Apr. 18th, 2001 08:04 pmHi. I was talking to my cousin about how unhappy I was. He was really shocked. I guess that's because he doesn't really know how I'm like around home. Yes, I am depressed. I'm a loser with no life, with terrible grades, friendless. Dude, the only people I have close to friends are my online friends. But I must remember...they only exist through the computer, it's not like they live in the same city or something. Even though I can probably confide more into the ppl online than at home, but I guess that's just my problem.
There, I said it. "MY PROBLEM". I guess I do have a problem. And there's no taking it away. You just have to kinda get used to what's going on and live through it each day. Atleast that's how I deal with it. But...if I'm dealing with it correctly, the problem should be gone by now. I know I'm doing something wrong, but I can't grasp it. Which means I have to let it drown me until I do.
God!!!! Why can't life be easier???? It completely sucks!!! EVERYTHING IS JUST SO USELESS! I have absolutely no one to depend on. Only myself. But I get lonely just telling myself my problems over and over again. No one knows how it feels to be alone....I'm quite used to it now. But in the beginning..it was the worst feeling. It was like a complete block of ice encased me inside the world. And I couldn't get out.
But now, I'm used to the feeling of being trapped, with nowhere to go except in my own prison. And that's how it's going to be unless I act now and do something about it...
There, I said it. "MY PROBLEM". I guess I do have a problem. And there's no taking it away. You just have to kinda get used to what's going on and live through it each day. Atleast that's how I deal with it. But...if I'm dealing with it correctly, the problem should be gone by now. I know I'm doing something wrong, but I can't grasp it. Which means I have to let it drown me until I do.
God!!!! Why can't life be easier???? It completely sucks!!! EVERYTHING IS JUST SO USELESS! I have absolutely no one to depend on. Only myself. But I get lonely just telling myself my problems over and over again. No one knows how it feels to be alone....I'm quite used to it now. But in the beginning..it was the worst feeling. It was like a complete block of ice encased me inside the world. And I couldn't get out.
But now, I'm used to the feeling of being trapped, with nowhere to go except in my own prison. And that's how it's going to be unless I act now and do something about it...
